Sex Offenders' Families Punished I'm the wife of a registered "sex offender." The state and media have thrown all sex offenders in one basket, even though they're not the same. That affects the sex offenders' families. That affects me, our daughter, his parents, his sisters and their children. Submitted by: admin  245 comments Category: News

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on May 30, 2006 at 12:20 pm
	HE affected his wife, daughter and family. HE violated the law. The law did not violate his family.

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on May 30, 2006 at 09:41 pm
	I agree with you that all of them are put into one category and never given another chance while you can kill someone and get another chance

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on May 31, 2006 at 02:46 pm
	I have to say that I feel no sympathy for sex offenders. Why should we feel sorry for you? Do you stop to think about the person your husband hurt? How they are dealing with what has happened to them?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 01, 2006 at 02:57 pm

Sexual fantacies and acts against children or underage girls or boys is a sickness and can never go away. It takes only a something , a reminder to set it off again. I feel for you, but you have to be vigilant for the signs. Talk to a psychiatrist to find what they are who specializes in this and be on garde . Talk to sex affenders in jail, only repeat offenders and ask them what sets them off, ans ask your Husband, but I doubt he will tell you the truth of what set him off. This is why so many people are against sex offenders. They can't quit, it's an addiction, worst than drugs, because it in front of you 24/7. Good luck

Posted by: Jen (not registered) on June 02, 2006 at 05:53 pm

I agree with the wife, not all those who are registered are the same with the same ofenses. Not everyone who has to register for life is a pedofile or child molester. However, they all are lumped in the same group and treated pooly by society. In some states for just spanking a child an person must be a lifetime sex offender registraint. And, yes these people get harassed to a point that their families are put in jeporday. Who will protect us (the families) from the vigalanties??? Wife of a GOOD man

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 07, 2006 at 04:36 pm

There are different levels of sex offenders and should not be treated the same. The result to the victim is not ever forgotten, but, how about the family and children of a level one sex offender?? They are in the same position as a level 3. Unemployable, unhousable, and someone that committed a crime at the age of 18, perhaps with a willing 17 year old, can pay the rest of thier lives. Is this fair??

Posted by: VICTIM (not registered) on June 08, 2006 at 02:05 pm

I am the so called "victim" in a "sex crime". I was 15 and dating a 21 year old family friend. He got my parnet's permission to date me before hand. We had CONSENTUAL sex and he ended up in jail for 1 year. and he's now on the sex offfender's list. When I turned 18 I went to court and had the no contact order lifted, and we began dating again. We got married and had a baby. We've been married nearly 5 years. I've been harassed and pushed out of our 1st house in Deltona, FL because of media and police. I was the victim, and I'm now the victim of the system. There's no need to constantly torment the families that are trying to live their lives. There definitely should be better guidelines for the sex offender list.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 14, 2006 at 03:19 pm

By committing a sex crime, your husband affected not only the victim, but their family, friends and community as a whole. I understand that you feel your husband is a wonderful man, but ask the victim how they feel about him. Many people marry sex offenders, but many people also marry murderers "because they are a wonderful person". Wake up and smell the coffee lady, because one day this wonderful man may committ a sex crime against you, your daughter, your best friend or someone else close to you.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 14, 2006 at 03:42 pm
	If you look in the Florida Sex Offender Registry, you will find that all registered offenders listed with the last name of Clements, with the exception of one, committed crimes to victims that were under the age of 16. I don't know which one is your husband, but I certainly would not leave him alone with my daughter.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 20, 2006 at 02:07 am

I have a sex offender living next door, which is my landlady's son. The law is here on a weekly basis. He is listed on TDPS site, but with no address. He raped a 14yo female in '95. What is the law in Tx., which I've researched to find out. With no results. Do I need to call the TXDPS?Why doesn't the county know this, why is he not giving his address and why is he seeing his children and playing with the neighbors children. He even made a pass at my daughter of 18 which looks like 15..It's scarey and I want to know the law. Why can he live here and not give his address out and tell everyone about his past???? This is Insane! He's freaky too. EKSSSS

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 29, 2006 at 06:35 pm

Your husband committed the crime, the victim did not. There are some people that are just sex crazy. The only clues that anyone has is after he has molested a child. If you look on their computer, it more than likely contains porn, and in most cases children. Married or single, they more than likely have a swing relationship, and in mot cases the partner does not want anything to do with this. If you do not want to be connected to your husbands bad deeds, divorce him.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 02, 2006 at 01:08 am

I have a son that was molested by his birth mothers husband and 2 foster children a boy and a girl that was molested by their mother and her boyfriends I no they are sick people and I do feel for their families the little girl was 15 months when her molesting began I no the only thing that can help them and their families is God he has helped me to deal with this I could never have lived with horror these kids have been through I don't think that going with under age if it is consenual sex is the same thing as what happened to mt babies I got married when I was 15 and my husband was 25 we have been married for 40 years now and I do no it is not the same may God bless the victims and their families and the offenders and their families for he loves us all he is the only answer for us all.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 02, 2006 at 01:16 am
	We have no right to judge anyone God is the true judge he will judge us the offenders and the victims and their families

Posted by: Missy (not registered) on July 11, 2006 at 06:31 pm
	I'm doing research about mislabeled sex offenders for a nationally syndicated TV show. Are you married to a man or a woman who is mislabeled as a sex offender because of a consensual sexual relationship he/she had with a minor? Would you like to speak out about how this label has affected the family? e-mail to missy.green@drkeithtv.com to be considered.

Posted by: billie rodriguez (not registered) on July 17, 2006 at 02:29 pm
	i think that they should be put away for a long time it make me angry

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on July 19, 2006 at 02:46 pm

I can see that a lot of individuals can only speak out of ignorance because they do not know what goes on in the mind of a sex offender or a murderer or perpetrator of any crime. but only one offence is awarded with a national registry and to me that to me is bias. the system is cruel and so are people but fair is fair to everyone . I would want to access the registry pertaing to all the offenders in my area not excluding any murderers and thieves and so on. If your neighbor is not a sex offender you could be still shocked to find that he or she has done time for other so called scandelous crimes. these things can cause you to want to move out or call home from work often checking on your wives and husbands and children to make sure all is well. will these re-offend ? you do not know and there is no registry to tell you who they are according to the criminal system because the records are filed and hidden unlike the sex offenders being treated like some new desease there are many sick people out there ,some posting comments, some with murderous thoughts and rapists thoughts and some with thoughts of inapropiate behavior towards children and some have even carried out actions and repented or have not been caught. they will never admit it. they are just as sick in my opinion no one has had perfect thoughts always and others have made the mistake of carrying out crimes and did thier time as any other crimminal so set them free to live a life again they were caught and should not be placed on a new WANTED list ie the registry. If the registry applies to the sex offender it should apply to everyone ever convicted of a crime. do you know who your nieghbor is ? answer: NO

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 25, 2006 at 04:32 am
	I find it interesting when people say "they can never get those sick thoughts out of their heads" or "they can never change"...it kind of sounds like you are speaking from experience. Having a hard time getting those thoughts out of you own head? Otherwise, how could you possibly know the thought process of a sex offender?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 25, 2006 at 05:40 pm

I agree that all offenders are put in the same catagory even though there crimes can be so differend. My boyfriend is a registered offender and all he did is have sex with a 15 year old girl and her parents found out about it and were going to ground her but she cryed wolf and said he raped her. They could not get him on rape charges they could only get him for haveing sex with a minor under the age of 16 (statutory rape) but in the state i live in it is not called that he had to be registered with rape 3rd degree no force. My boyfriend is a good man I have known him for almost 5 years he has never hurt me or anyone i know but he is put in the same group with a child molester i lost custoty of my 4 year old little girl before we stated dating and even though his file says not to be around females years 13 to 17 and its not as bad as it could be on his part because the judge gave him over night visits with his 3 year old little girl, his 1 year old little boy, andhis 9 month old little boy but i cant get custody of my little girl back because we are together. And to me it is not right there is so much of a difference in a child molester and someone who had sex with a under age girl.

Posted by: JESSICA CLEMENTS (not registered) on July 25, 2006 at 10:19 pm

First, I would like to thank the people who had something positive to say about my letter. Second, I would like to say to those who have been victims of abuse...I am so sorry that you had to go through that. It's something that never leaves you. Third, I would like to say in regards to the people who had only negative angry things to say about my article, I understand why you would think what you do and feel the way you do about my husband and other sex offenders because I used to feel the exact same way. But I have to admit that I was wrong because I thought that all sex offenders were child molesters and rapists and that is not true. I was ignorant to the different things a person can do to become labeled as a sex offender that have nothing to do with violent sex or preying on a young child. For example, urinating in public is a sex offense. Mooning someone is a sex offense. Sticking your tongue out at someone is a sex offense. There are many things that aren't sexual in my eyes that are considered a sex offense. If everyone in the U.S. was honest, most of us are probably sex offenders who never got caught. You don't have to sympathise with my husband or my family but think for a moment about how you would feel if your son was labeled a sex offender. Possibly for a crime that was silly, such as mooning someone driving by. Or fooling around with a girl a few years younger than him whose parents got angry to find out their little girl of 15 isn't so little anymore. Then decide whether or not the families of sex offenders are getting what they deserve. I know that every case is different and we can't be 100 percent sure about everyone we meet even if they aren't labeled a sex offender but tell me why someone who sells drugs to 9 year old child can walk around free to do as he pleases while someone caught taking a leak has to register with the state and have his face, name and address posted for all the world to see.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 09, 2006 at 01:36 am

Colorado, My son never touched a child, but her mother wanted to have sex with my son of 15. When he wouldn't she kept trying until he moved away from her, at 18. She then made up charges against my son and told them he touch her 3 times. A man in prison, is there for going dancing with a woman he thought and hit it off so well they had sex that night. She had a fake ID and said she was 21, she was 14 but made herself to look 21. Every case is different, but yet all these poor men who are not, are to everyone in the world. I do not understand, like I had told my son, the truth will always come out, it still hasn't. She told him that she would ruin his life since he would never sleep with her, and he is fighting that it won't be ruined. It ruined my marriage, we have almost lost our house and some of our family can't understand if he is or not. If the law says you are, then you are guilty, until you can proof you are innocent. How can you do that, when the parents have to give permission to the court to have their child testify? This is way out of control, yes there are many sick men or boys out there that need to be put in cages for the rest of their lives, but what about the innocent ones. Who is the victum?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 11, 2006 at 07:18 pm

My bf is a registered sex offender and Never had sex with anyone. He exposed himself to females whom he thought was of age. A childish prank and stupid. He was forced to go thru months of therapy and now has to register as a violent sex offeneder because two of the females were under age. Is this fair? NO. Is he sick in the head,NO> How may times has a female flashed her breasts at someone ? Double standards. I feel sorry for him. And the the countless others who are unfairlyt grouped with violent offenders. Where is the nurder registry at? I want a list of the men who kill women. I dont get the justice?

Posted by: Anonymos (not registered) on August 11, 2006 at 07:23 pm

I was a victim of a violent crime. I think that the comments on here are terrible. People deserve second chances. I think the laws are unfair to different tyes and levels of offences. I also nelieve that when someone carries a grudge then you are only punishing and hurting yourself. The man that violated me had a sickness. Simply. I was hurt but life goes on. Most poeple that are that being judgemental on here are probably not victims. A victim doesnt want to stay on the past....life goes on. Give the violators therapy or leave them in jail of the offence calls for it, but dont judge. JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED

Posted by: stacey (not registered) on August 14, 2006 at 12:33 pm

Your husband is the one who has messed up your life not the police and not his victoms if you were any kind of person you would leave him how can you be w/ some one who likes little kids its sick i understand its not your fault but if you choose to stand by him than i feel your as guilty as he is my own children were molested by my sisters boy friend and she is standing behind him and come to find out she knew about it so she is just as "F"-as he is

Posted by: stacey (not registered) on August 14, 2006 at 12:39 pm
	i would like to know what your husband did? your mad that there all grouped together so what did he do? what group should he be in?

Posted by: Mom (not registered) on August 16, 2006 at 08:02 pm

My son has been arrested and faces up to 10 years in jail for having consensual sex with someone 4 years younger than himself. The scenerio is this. The girl was 15, my son 19. Because of the girl's age, my son faces a lifetime of hell! He faces being registered as a violent sexual predator for the rest of his life, a label that will cost him his little girl. My son is NOT a sexual predator. He is a teen who made a bad choice. Why should he receive the same punishment as a 40 year old who brutally rapes a little child? The laws do need to be revamped!

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 22, 2006 at 08:42 pm

I agree with one of the posters who said many of the posters regarding this question are awful. Like her, I was a victim of a violent crime (date rape) and I got pregnant. Do I still harbor a grudge against him? No! Am I victim of him? No! I am the fiance of a registered sex offender (falsely accused of a sexual assault 20 years ago: no DNA, no physical evidence, no trial, no jury verdict, only 80 years in prison if he pleds innocent and loses at trial or 5 years if he pled guilty. (Which would you take?) I have noticed an especial rabid tone to some peoples' comments who equate sex offender with child molester or sexual predator. Nothing can be further from the truth. And these laws are destroying families. We have to move, he may not be able to find a job, he may have to wear GPS, someday he may be imprisoned, all due to a false rape charge? What's really sick are those who would punish the sex offender family in which the child was molested by the father and the parents have had a reconcilation. That child and mother are now doubly victimized! Who are we as a society to judge them? (Are you God?) I believe if the child and mother can forgive the father and the father is getting counseling, what is it our business?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 25, 2006 at 03:02 am

It is discouraging to read the some of the hateful comments expressed. We are not the Judge God is the Judge and he gives grace to us all. I am an advocate and a victim of rape in marriage. But I do not believe the current system we have is beneficial to us all. It is taxing on our economhy and places families on the street. God is not happy with how we have chosen to treat yes, even the sex offender. It is interesting how we violate one another on daily basis but when it comes to sex we wish to crush the persons involved. We use to feel the same way about infidelity and homosexualty, now they are fashionable. We say we want to protect the children but what are the children really being taught? Hatred in any form is wrong. It destroys a society. If we are to punish with out end let us go back and punish the sex offenders of the plantations. There were many sex crimes committed that went unpunished many children that were abused. Let Justice roll in all areas .

Posted by: hms (not registered) on September 01, 2006 at 05:16 am

To say that this woman deserves to be punished for caring about a man who is a sex offender is wrong. ALL MEN and WOMEN have fallen short of the glory of god. NO man enters into heaven who is without sin. Does that mean to blindly forgive this man for his crimes? ... no Im sure his punishment fit the crime before a judge, as it will do so equally when he stands before god one day. Punishing peoples families because of these IDIOTIC sex offender laws is just plain stupidity. ANSWER THIS... What does listing someone on a sex offender registry actually DO to stop that person from reoffending? Do you think because you KNOW your neighbor commited a sex offense in his past that that knowledge will stop him from doing it again? If you answered yes to that question.... YOU are either a politician.... OR.... a complete moron! My answer to this problem is simple. FIrst offense... the crime fits the punishment before a judge. SECOND offense.... You go to jail for 25 years. No parole, No time off for good behavior. THEN.. there wouldnt be a need for a sex offender registry. OR any of the fear it creates. These people are human beings. Just like you and me. Ones who have made msitakes in their past... JUST like you and me. PROBABLY a bit worse that us.. of course.... but in the end... once they have served their sentences, and paid that debt to society... What good does it really do to place them on a list that does NOTHING to protect anyone but that persons nieghbors? What stops these people from getting in their cars, driving to the next town where they are not so well known, and committing another offense? I say leave them be. Let them have a second chance to do right. And GOD will judge them, and all of us.... on how we live the rest of our lives.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on September 10, 2006 at 11:33 pm

Unless a sex offender is considered at high risk of re-offending, and there are few of those, it is no one's business what their criminal past is. Some of the comments on this forum are unbelievable: blaming the wife for staying with the sex offender husband, being nasty about what his offense is, etc. If people would do the research, they would find that law enforcement is putting hundreds of thousands of people on these lists and most are not violent or even have a victim. Yet they're tagged with the same label as child molester or sex predator. Even if the states all had the same rules in which all registered sex offenders were evaluated for their risk (1-3) and other details of their offenses were placed on the internet, what business is it of the general public's to know? What are you going to do with the information? Harass or otherwise hurt that offender? Or their spouse, parents, children, siblings? I am the girlfriend of a registered sex offender and a victim of numerous crimes (large and small). Yet, I am not out there demanding that the people who assaulted me or stole from me be named. Once they've paid the consequences deemed by the court, it should be done. Who am I to say that their punishment shall go on forever, especially the man who raped me (a date) and I became pregnant? It happened 26 years ago! Also what's really sick is that my boyfriend essentially has a life sentence of shame for pleading guilty to a false rape (because the state of Oklahoma basically said it's a life sentence if he's found guilty by a jury or 5 years if he pleads guilty without a trial), but the two time drunk driver who KILLED both his parents received 8 years. Kill two people and do four years a piece. Get accused of raping a woman and do a life sentence. Maybe their lives didn't mean much, since they were both native American, or maybe the drunk driving laws in 1985 were not nearly strict enough. But to this day, we cannot have a nice Christmas or New Year's Even because his parents were killed on New Year's Eve when the drunk driver's car, going too fast, became airborne and landed on top of their car, crushing them. And he gets eight years!

Posted by: angelo (not registered) on September 11, 2006 at 07:06 pm
	sex offenders that did there time and went through therapy and completed there p-role shouldnt have to go on being punished they also have families and children that are affected by these new laws ...

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on September 12, 2006 at 06:00 pm

i am what they call a victim, as well as anyone. from the time i was 10 thru 14 years old i was molested by my older brother. i now have a mentally handicapped child as a result of it. if his parole says he is not allowed around children then why is? what is his probation officer doing? i dont think he did the time he deserved to do. While i can no longer have children he is able to get a 18 year old pregenant. i was never notifed of his release if my parents never told me then i would never know.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on September 28, 2006 at 03:32 pm

I am a father that has a 5 year old son. I recently found out that my ex-wife married a registered sex offender about 1 year ago. I took into consideration that maybe all offenders are not as bad as others but I deceided to look into what crime my sons' stepfather committed in order to be deemed this. Well sure enough it was scarier than I thought. He apparently drugged a 20 year old girl with common house hold medicines and rapped her while she was knocked out. They were both married at the time and the girl testified that she never had any romantic involements with him. She was in his house though "apparently" studying because they went to the same junior college and lived in the same complex. She was also feeling very sick that day from a cold/flu symtoms. The trial transcript also says that when she awoke, he told her that she had "a bad dream" and that her pants and under wear were at her knees. He was charged with sexual battery and served 4 years in jail along with lifetime registry of sexual offender status. I am a good father and pay my child support on time and see my son as often as I am allowed by the mother. I have no criminal backround AT ALL. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. NOT EVEN CASUALLY. I just don't like it. I even thought that maybe this was just a terrible mistake and that guy just got a bad deal and that the girl made this stuff up somehow. I decided to look further into this man's history and found that he had been to jail a few times before because he used to work at a hospital and stole things from elderly patients like jewlery, cash and anything else he could take. He even stole the keys of a patient and drove to her house and broke in and pawned off a bunch of jewlery worth about $20,000. With the mix of those charges above and the sexual battery, I now fully believe that he was capable of rapping the girl and probably did do it in the way decribed. Now that I have told this story, I wanted to ask if anybody thought that I could win a custody case for my son for the fact that he is presently living with a sex offender with a criminal history. WE ARE IN FLORIDA.

Posted by: jm (not registered) on October 14, 2006 at 04:49 pm

It was your choice to marry this man and unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad. My husbands ex-wife married a registered sex offender. I do believe that some people just had a moment of bad judgement sometimes affected by the use of drugs or alcohol and some people have thoughts that they can't control. How are we to know? I do NOT believe in any type of vigilante actions, but I do think we all have the right as parents ,who our children should be around. I do not feel comfortable to know that my step children are left alone with a man who molested his own students in junior high school. we have custody of the kids but every other weekend they see their mom. Both parents agreed that the kids would never be left alone with the husband, but this has been breeched time and time again. We do not feel that "mom" has made good choices historically, so this also somes inot play. Now her husband is having an affair , the kids know about it ,and they keep "secrets" so dad doesn't find out what is going on over there. It is getting out of hand. this man could be harmless, but his judgement seems to be impaired and even though he continues to have an affair, mom lives with it and they continue to live together and the kids continue to harbor secrets. The bottom line is that every situation is different and you should respect that if there are people around you that are uncomfortable with what he has done they have the right to keep their kids away from him. I also believe that YOU and your KIDS should not live in fear. If hope you find a good support system for yourself and your family you so you can move on with your life. Only you know if it this is right for you. History plays a big part in this for everyone.

Posted by: angie (not registered) on October 21, 2006 at 10:27 pm

i think its sad out here now days when girls say there older than they are find a guy have make out that call the cops make a report and the gut get charged with a sex crime gets put on the regester and when he thinks he can try to live normal get married have kids think agine you may find your self with a pobation offecer that says you cant live with your wife or childern after you formed a bond with your child this happend in 2 distric in iowa

Posted by: nc (not registered) on October 23, 2006 at 01:07 pm
	If he is in your house then you support everything he does. I would not let ANY sex offfenders live under the same roof as my children. That is an accident waiting to happen.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:39 am
	I believe truely not all persons/people convicted as a sex offender are truely a sex offender . Don't get me wrong I believe there is wierd / demented males/females that get a kick out of it (which is very sick and gods punishment will prevail over those individuals) ... I know a person that was wrongfully convicted , due to someone knowing the D.A. and things being twisted , etc .

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:40 am

That person now lives , wondering "Why me?" , " Secluding themselves , thinking someone else could lie on them , could make up anything , could heartlessly ruin the rest of there life. That person has paid out so much in court costs , laywer fees , and now on top of everything , can never , ever , have any kids or wife/ husband of their own ... And if they did they couldnt live in the same house . They couldn't watch their kid/kids go from bottles and diapers to saying their first word, to learning to ride their bike without training wheels, they couldnt be involved with their child/children to watch them grow-up , they couldn't be their for their wife ... How is that normal ?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:41 am

I guess we all can look at the situation in many different ways , but I feel there should be some loop-holes / ammendments to the laws , if somone (he or she) , by the other party having a choice ( someone that knows the person and knows they would do nothing) Where are our rights? , the state gets to choose ? Why not us the people or person who truely knows the individual , why couldnt they make a request , saying " Yes I know his/her history , I'm taking this chance " If someting was to happen then , it is that own persons fault ..

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:41 am

But if making the right choice , the two could have somewhat a normal life and the children could have both parties there , to help raise , comfort and protect them , I don't even think they thought of the children of someone convicted of a sex crime ... How damaging not only to the parents but to the child that , has no idea why they can't see daddy or mommy and "Why , don't you two live together ?" I am sorry others may disagree with me , but I find it horrible ... I think there should be some ammendments . Also say the offender has a younger minor sibling , they can never see there sister or brother again ...? Wait a minute , thats there own blood!

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:41 am

They can't live near a school ? Within 2000 feet , you know how many schools are everywhere , what we have to run them all to the woods , WHAT THEY NEED TO LIVE IN A TENT somewhere ? I checked , in most cities there is a school practically in every neighborhood ... how the hell , are they suppose to find anywhere in town to live , not to mention daycares? The law is very strange , they can't live near a school , but if the want to further their eduication they can go to one ? HMM, has me stumped .... I dont believe everything I hear , I dont believe everything I see , and defintly don't believe in ruining a persons life for the rest of their life , because some girl or guy said " OH, mommy he /she touched me !" WHEN THAT SOMEONE SHOULD BE PUT ON A LIE DETECTOR TEST AND MADE SURE THEY AREN'T LYING , because if they aren't , YAH punish the criminal , but if they are punish the one who was about to take away , A GOOD PERSONS LIFE , just because the were trying to get even , or play a cruel joke, or jealous , etc... Ok I'm done :-) thanks and just my opinion !

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on October 25, 2006 at 02:50 am

I was always told a lonely/idle mind is a devils playground ... We seclude these individuals , guilty and not guitly ....WHY ? DOESNT THAT GIVE THEM MORE OPPURTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT IT , IF THEY ARE GUILTY? and IF NOT GUILTY AND WRONGFULLY ACCUSSED , THEN IT GIVES THEM MORE TIME TO THINK ON HOW THEY SHOULD JUST KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTED BECAUSE SOME GIRL OR GUY WAS TRYING TO BE LIAR , to look good , to play a cruel sick joke , OH YES LET THEM GO , LET THEM HAVE A GOOD LIFE , EVEN THO THEY ARE THE ONES THAT LIED

Posted by: Sheila (not registered) on October 30, 2006 at 10:58 am

Let me tell you something all of you.... My son at age 23 met a girl whol claimed she was 19 yrs. old... We met her mother who knew my son was 23 yrs old.. We believed her age cause she looked 19 yrs old and had no reason to not believer her.. Come to find out; she was only 15 yrs old.. When I found out I immediately called me son to tell him and he wrote her off... She in turn got mad and cried rape and now my son is a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.... I believe that this is injustice... She lied and he is looked upon as a predator who harms little girls, when in reality he would never get near one under the age of 18 yrs...Now he will never be able to see his little girl in any school plays, or recitals; or be able to take her to a park all because of a lie and no other proof ! In my eyes and anyone who knows him; knows that he would never harm any child, but now society will see him as being a threat ! The law needs to change there laws in sex offenders... For the real bad ones who long to prey on children, should not be in the category of the ones who are truly not a threat... It amazes me how a 15 yr. old can lie doesn't know what she is doing, but if she committed murder, she would be tried as an adult.. Give me a break ! An 18yr.old who was with a girl just a few years under him is now also a convicted sex offender just because he is now 18 when .. He was giong out with this girl for a few years before he turned 18, so how does that work? My gosh these guys have got to watch who they go out with and now a sophmore in high school can no longer date a junior or senior cause he may end up carrying the label as a sex offender ! Give me a break.... We need to find a way to change the way these laws are in making innocent men not in the same category of down right criminal sex offenders.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on November 03, 2006 at 10:07 pm

I believe there are a lot of victims out there that truly need protection, The problem is, we are seeing so many people that are falsely accussed that we need to take a very hard look at molestation cases. I know that people do not want to realize this, but look at the number of cases that DNA is clearing and some of these men have spent a great number of years in prison for nothing. There is a madness going through our nation in convicting people for molestation and rape. We need to take a serious look at are we as usual, over reacting to things. This is usually the way we treat things in the US. We over react, make lots of mistakes, then finally some common sense begins to rule.

Posted by: A True Heart (not registered) on November 27, 2006 at 04:49 pm

WHAT CAN WE DO ? WHO CAN WE STAND UP TO? HOW DO THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T AGREE WITH THE LAWS ON SEX OFFENDERS CHANGE SOMETHING? I have a friend who was a victim of a girl lying on him , he is now 30 , he was then 21 , she was 15 but looked 19 or so ... All he did was make a comment to a girl standing outside a store , "Don't you think your skirts a little short ." She turned it and told police ,he said " Wait, here I'll be back and I will take you around back for some foreplay." Guess anyone can lie and ruin a guys life for the rest of his life... She also said he held a boxknife to her neck , then later said he held it to her throat . NO weapon was ever found , HAHA . HELP anyone , what can be done ? He isn't a sex offender and does not need to serve 4 years for being INNOCENT !!! They just recently locked him up for failure to register , HOW CAN YOU REGISTER WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME , HOW CAN YOU REGISTER WHEN YOU CAN'T GET AN APARTMENT OR HOME BEING LABELED AS A SEX OFFENDER , THEY ALMOST MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE , would like to appeal this whole ordeal , how , who , and what can help us ...?

Posted by: Jessica (not registered) on March 11, 2007 at 05:03 pm

Yes I have a Comment on this Topic I was 15 when I meet my Husband He is on the Offenders List He has been there for me ! as my parents pressed charges on him how can you say all are bad you people are Sick So he made a mistake with ME but I tell u What the MEDIA NEEDS TO KNOW SOME PEOPLE ARE ON THERE AND SHOULD NOT BE!!! KEEP TALKEN IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY THEN THERE LIFE IS RUINED IN MICHIGAN JSYRBR@AOL.COM

Posted by: Not-Guilty (not registered) on March 18, 2007 at 06:41 am

I am a registered sex offender. My crime...I hugged my step daughter from behind, my hand touched her upper chest and an police officer in site charges me with "inappropriate touching". In court my step daughter rtestified on my behalf, her mother as well. I have never been in any kind of trouble, ever. I am now classified as a child sex offender and have lost everything I can never be alone with my children or grandchildren. I did 1 year in jail and another year on house arrest. My contactors license was pulled because of my conviction. I can not find any gainful employment. I have to live alone because I am not allowed any contact with my step daughter, as ordered by the court. Who gives our goverment such power? Why do we all think they are doing what's best for us? I am an offender for giving a hug. What about a family that practices nudism? Are they offenders? You, the public must be allowed to know where I live and work. Wouldn't you like to know where the man/woman who has been arrested 4 times for drunk driving lives? What if they take your kids to the movies while they are drinking? What about the person who has been arrested for drugs multiple times? Why don't we know who they are? Isn't all of this a danger to our children? I will have to live life with this horrible label over my head forever. I will always be "left in the cold" because some officer thought a hug for praise was something filthy. We should all stop and look at what the laws are and how they really affect us and those around us. Sure there are some very sick people out there. They commit all kinds of crimes. Yes they should be punished. But once there punishment is done, let them be productive in society. Punishment for life is not a fair reality.

Posted by: Jill (not registered) on March 20, 2007 at 03:29 pm

I am going through all of this right now. My fiance is in prison right now and we have a 7 month old son. i have been going through a lot emotionally and I am trying to decide on if its worth it for us to even stay together. And its exactly for the reason of our son and how it will affect him but also me as well. What is life like for you guys, I am new to all of this and I really dont know what to expecet when he gets out

Posted by: JillHarris on March 20, 2007 at 03:42 pm

I am dealing with all of this right now. My fiance is in prison right now for something everyone knows isnt true. He was involved with a girl who was 16 and he was 20 which happens all the time. This girl was the type who would sleep with anyone tho and there was so many holes in her story but it was all pretty much he said she said. Anyways, we have a 7 month old son who is now going to be affected by all of this and im trying to figure out if its even worth it for us to stay together at all because of how it will affect our son. if there is anyone who is married to and has children with a sex offender it would be much appreciated if you could tell me what life is like for you guys. i have no idea how all of this works so it would be great to hear from someone who is going through it too.

Posted by: Hexgirl on March 20, 2007 at 04:27 pm

I am not a married women to a person who would sexually abuse a child, but I am a mother who had a son sexually abused. Honestly it does not matter how many people she slept with, its the fact that your husband at 20 slept with a minor, and got caught and now has to pay for the mistake of what he did, and you and the baby will suffer. The sadd part is your husband choose to sleep with a minor even if it was on both terms agreeable, plus the age diffrence I am sure did'nt help. No matter what people tell you you have to make your head tell you the right way to go, not your heart. But with your cirm... I am sure people would be more understanding to accept it then if it was like in my sons situation where the person was 27, and he was only 9 years old, then they would have a problem. Good Luck.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on March 23, 2007 at 08:59 pm

I have a comment regarding Sex with a Minor. Our laws need to be re-looked at for children in the range of 13 to 17 with regards to consentual sex. I personally know of several cases where the male was over the age of 18 and the female was under the age of 18 where consential sex took place. The parents find out (even in boyfriend /girlfriend cases) and go ape and run to the police. Since the police are sworn to uphold the law they press charges and the guy gets jail time. In Texas - its 25 years and other states its 12 to 15 years. Consider the guy who is 18 who allegedly had consentual sex with a minor between the age of 13 to 17. The parents get teed off and go to the police. The boy goes to prison for 12 to 25 years and currently has served his full jail time. The public now wants him to register as a sex offender for life. California is now proposing an ankle bracelet for life. Some states are considering a license place that says "Sex Offender" Is this fair?? I say NO! In my opinion when you have served your sentence you should be left alone. You have paid your dues. In some states, you are getting a lighter sentence if you committed murder than if you had consentual sex with a minor. What message is this sending? Please note that I am referring only to consentual sex with teens over the age of 13. Where the two parties have agreed to it. When we are referring to teens and young adults having consentual sex we need to either lighten the sentance, ban the sentance or have the girl spend some time in junvinal hall. Consentual means agreed to. If it is a crime then both parties need jail or juvinal detention. If the law is still a crime and not banned or re-written, then the girl needs some time too. This would have some of these parents thinking twice before running to the police and sending many, many young guys to prison when the only crime was to love someone. I am not referring to molestor's in this case. I am referring to young guys who are going to jail every day for having sex with someone younger theh them and scarred for life. I do not agree with the continual public labeling once you have served your time. If this is the case then we need ankle bracelets on all the murderers who have served their time who are back out on the streets. Best Regards,

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on April 02, 2007 at 01:06 pm

My 10 year old daughter is the custody of her father, whose step-son is a sexual offender. The sexual offense consisted of consensual sex with a girl 3 years his junior. I am not comfortable with my child being in that environment whether the sex was consensual or not. The character of this person is somehow flawed. These young adults know the consequences of having sex with those that are too young. A boy or girl can easily ifnluence and pressure the younger teens to "consensual sex". It is obvious that some moderation should be used in the sentencing of sexual offenders. I believe a program similiar to those used for addicts and alcoholic should be implememted in the judicial system. Obviously when one is young many mistakes in judgement occur. However, a young adult that displays the character of negatively influencing, bullying, or pressuring younger more fragile teens, should definately have some consequences and behavior should be closely watched. Of course from my postion it is easy to criticize the system, the judicial system is overloaded now with the epidemic of drugs, if more of us would initiate and offer solutions instead of criticism, we may be more apt to getting some results. This is a passionate issue and deservedly so, but despite alleged "unfair" treatment America must take the steps to protect its children until a more effective plan of action can be incorporated

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on April 02, 2007 at 01:16 pm

RE: Sex With a Minor Post, I understand your point. At the same time I also undertand the parents of the young girls and their position. Responsible parenting may be the answer to your question. Having sexual relations with young girls when you are 18 is a no-no!!! This is not a new law. At 18 one is considered an adult, adults do not have sex with minors. Taking responsiblility to inform our youth of the consequences is parmount in keeping situations like this from occurring. The child takin responsiblility for his own actions is part of becoming an adult. I have a daughter who is living in the household with such an offender as you described SHE IS 10!! I do not wnat this person around my child, can you blame me? would you want your daughter around someone who is not responsible and is known for taking advantage of young girls???? Drug addicts have been facing the same obstacles you describe for sexual offenders for years. Drug addicts can recieve no government assistance, they are discrimniated against because of their past. Now I ask you what is the difference??? There is a solution. But for now the system must protect its future with struict laws until a more efffective and just system can be established.

Posted by: Christine (not registered) on May 17, 2007 at 10:04 pm

I know EXACTLY how the lady feels. i have a 2 yr old and his daddy is in prison right now for a crime he didn't commit but the federal government says he is at fault. my little one goes to sleep at night only after he has given daddy's picture hugs and kisses... yes it does upset the whole family even the children of sex offenders. right now i am not married to my son's father but i do plan on remarrying him when he gets out. alot of you will ask...."have you thought about the consequences once he is release and what the future brings for the family?" and i will answer to you "Yes, i have". i have considered how my life will be in the future. i have also talked to everyone at my local church where we are members and they welcome him back to the church community with open minds that he never did anything wrong and that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. it is support like that, that we all need to give those who need it the most. my husband has suicidal thoughts, adhd and chronic depression and if it wasn't for me and his family believing in him and loving him so much...god only knows what he would do. God is what brought us together in the begining and it is God's love for us as well as our own for each other that keeps us going. The faith that god will be done is all we believe in. my husband has an alibi but the government doesn't want to listen and investigate better so my husband is being framed for trafficking child porn on the internet. there were no pics on our computer and nothing of the sort found in our home. but because our computer was broken into under his email screen name, the government says he did it and that is all they want to hear. i love my husband and we will be a family again soon. and to all who doesn't think it right,,,,, what comments that don't hurt me today only makes me stronger for tomorrow to carry on the way i have with the believe in our love and God. as my pastor of the church said to me, " by forgiving my husband and working out our marriage and fighting here on earth for what is in our hearts, there will be a place for us in heaven with the lord." .... Good luck and may god bless you for trying to keep your family together.

Posted by: Oldtimer on May 18, 2007 at 10:02 am
	"De nial, is Not a river in Egypt"

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on May 22, 2007 at 01:52 am

For all of the fear mongers and hateful people - best of luck with the rest of your lives. You will always reap what you sow. We are all unified in God. For those of you who "claim" christianity as your religion - what would Jesus do? Please also note that in California (Riverside County in particular) boasts a 98% conviction rate for all charges brought to the courts. How many actually received trials? Very very few. Plea bargains are forced down many people's throats as overzealous DAs threaten high charges and longer sentencing if you waste their time with a trial. We are allowing our country to become a police state. Once you remove one person's rights, it is only a matter of time before it affects your rights. I don't care what their "classification" is. We are all human beings. All human beings deserve dignity. If these offenders had been treated with dignity, they wouldn't have offended in the first place. Those who are actually guilty of a sex offenswe (most of which are NOT GUILTY) were most likely molested themselves as children. Why is it that as soon as they reach adulthood their scars no longer matter? We as a society need to become more enlightened and provide healing rather than perpetuate more fear. The politicians figured out, after watching what advertisers and Hollywood discovered, that sex sells. Many put these bills into voters hands to make them look like heroes just so they can be voted into office. Once the government realizes the country's fears, they propel those fears into hyperdrive and are given permission by the people to pass legislation that makes them all feel safe, when in reality it is removing more and more of their civil liberties. I am in fear of the police state that we are creating in this country.

Posted by: Angel (not registered) on May 22, 2007 at 02:14 pm

I agree. I understand both sides of this argument, maybe thats jus tone of lifes little ironies. I was raped when I was 15. I understand the fear parents have for their children, btter than most of you out there. At the same time, how much erosion of our civil rights will we stand for before someone stops this? How far can the government push "sex offenders" before they start pushing other groups. Do you really think all this legislation is "for the children"? Its to get someone re-elected. That aside, I'm now 22, and engaged, work full time, proud homeowner. And I've suffered-- we've suffered-- so much because he is listed on the sex offenders registry. He was charged with indecent liberties with a minor by the angry parents of his 13 year old girlfriend when he was 19. In NC, 5 years apart (if she was 14, that would have been totally legal) is ok. It was six years. While I think his and her parents were stupid for letting them date... he is now listed the same as rapist and child molesters in some registry, destroying our privacy, constantly putting us at risk by putting our address online... do you have nay idea how hard this is? And no way off, it can't even be expunged after 5 years because its a sex crime. Do you have any idea how unfair that is? Protect the children. Try responsible parenting, not erosion of civil liberties that affect the good and bad alike. What has this country come to...

Posted by: patti (not registered) on June 04, 2007 at 10:49 am

A FEW THINGS TO THINK ABOUT...BEING IMPARTIAL It seems tha National Sex Offender Registry is out of control. Soon enough there everyone will be on it. Why don't we put those tax dollars to work and stick to what is important. ONLY register the people who are NOT victims of circumstance, youthful offenders or at risk for re-offending. How about setting up some intense psyciatric care for ALL sex offenders during thier jail/prison sentance. ANOTHER THOUGHT- I would like to know who the habitual thieves are in my neiborhood.The arsonists, murderers and drugdealer lists would be helpful too. I WILL NOT make any exuses for another persons behavior but I will say EVERYONE deserves a second chance. After a person has paid their debt to society and dealt with thier own remorse who are we to judge?HAVE YOU REALIZED that harrassing a sex offender because of thier crime is a HATE CRIME??

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on June 04, 2007 at 11:20 am

The courts do need to distinguish between true pedophiles and young people in a sexually promiscuous society who date and have sex with other young people. I have taught at a college where freshmen students express fear of never being sure of a girl's age. Do I approve of all this promiscuity? Am I blaming the girls? No, I personally prefer abstinence and am appalled and concerned for our society, but this is just our reality.. I have read that some states are considering lowering the age of consent simply because this is the reality in our society. However, these young people are entirely different from a pedophile and the courts need to make that distinction. They are entitled to live a normal life with their families. But pedophiles..... The person who said they never change is probably right, based on statistics. I have read the same kind of reports. It was wrong and unfair to assume that person knew this because they themselves are guilty. Perhaps they are just better informed because persons with sex crimes are some of the very hardest to reform, even with 10 years of therapy. I am not saying no one can change; I am just saying many don't. I have been through hell myself because of abuse from a non-family member when I was 4-5 years old, so I would want to know if a true sexual predator was in my neighborhood. However, the law needs to be clarified so a person who has consensual sex with someone close to their age is not punished--along with their families--for life. Do some research before you condemn all these families to being on the sexual predaators registry.

Posted by: treasure (not registered) on June 09, 2007 at 05:39 pm

I understand what you are going though. I myself have a man I Love in for this same thing for the rest of his life. I have a son before we go together and now we are trying to but our life together. When he comes home. So how do you do it.? I have now his man for 20 years he would never hurt anyone. We are scared that he want be able to come home because of my son and that when he does come home will there be trouble and like you said will they take him again! Iwould love to talk to you about this more.

Posted by: x in va (not registered) on June 12, 2007 at 10:42 pm

i was married to a s.o. I gave him the benifit of doubt thinking he woulnt do it again because od our family, but when we started to have problems and we separated i found out he molested my 9 year old daughter. the sad part is that he got away because the police thought i was lying and had no proof other than my daughters testimonial which wasnt good enough. thishappened in va and im shocked and hurt because now i have to fight him in court now for child support and custody. i used to believe that people can change for the better but 99.9 sex offenders are trash and dont deserve the civil rights they have left. my story is on my space.com/xena2u

Posted by: Hexgirl on June 13, 2007 at 04:42 pm

I understand what your going through in a way. it seems that a child would make the State understand they are telling the truth, but the State feels otherwise. It seems if your a teenager and have sex the poor guy gets a name of a offender when it was both con... but why is it only the guy? The girl should be labled too, she was at fault as much as the teenager. I think they need to pay more att. to younger vic... and hearing there cries for help because they are at the age they do not understand what no means, instead of the teenagers who understand what yes means, and the parents get upset, and ruin the boys life, when the daughter was not as in. as they feel like she was. Tammy (Hexgirl)

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on June 17, 2007 at 09:07 am
	my son was acussed and now it looks like it is going to be dropped because of evidence the mother and stepdaughter made it up together. my son should have left this bad marriage a long time ago but because he left he lost everything and own a bail bonds man 4000.00 and we've paid a lawyer 10000.00. are there any recourse for any recovery.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 19, 2007 at 06:48 pm

What about the guy who is accused because of spite. I know of at least 10 guys this has happened to. Never been in trouble before. Accused of molesting a child, by the childs mother because she is mad about something or because of custody. Sent before a judge and told if you do not plead no contest I will see to it that you never get out. They have no idea what "no contest" means. (Ie" it means that you are saying you are quilty even if you are not using those words") What would you do? Now, you are not told that you will have to register as a sex offender. You are not told that this will follow you the rest of your life, just that if you do not plead no contest you will never see the light of day again. What would you do?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on June 23, 2007 at 08:13 pm

I agree with mom....the laws should be re-thought and the cases should be case by case....with a complete investigation on what happened.....doesnt matter that my son was drunk and went downstairs alone.....and she and her friend came down 10 minutes later as he is almost passed out and the adult friend of the minor and the minor herseld started the whole pathetic "sex"act.....its now my son fighting for his life .moms dont give up fight back hire private investigators dig into there past......i wont stop until my son is totally found innocent of anything. His crime being at the wrong party with trash......

Posted by: danielle (not registered) on July 01, 2007 at 11:51 am

My husband was caught in an internet sting last year. He was in an adult chatroom on yahoo. During the conversation the person (who was a police office) said they were 14. The girl or police office call my husband on his cell phone three time to come and meet up at her place. My husband being the dummy he is drove of there. When he got about two blocks away turned away a was comming back home. The police pulled him over about three blocks from the location. The only reason the knew it was him is because his e-mail address was on the back of our mini-van. Now if my husband is convicted he will have to go to prison and register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. We have five children. An now my children will have to punished for the rest of their lives. Is that fair. Is it fair for other kids to make fun of my children because of the mistake their dad made on the internet. Two years ago my home was broken into twice. I would rather know who the burglers and muders are than sex offenders. I knowing who talked to a 14 year old girl on the internet more important than knowing who's going to be tring to sell your kids drugs. I understant everyone hate sex offenders. But why is it the crime that you can never finish the sentance. If my husband is convicted than how will I pay all of our bills. Would everone fill better if my children and I are living under a bridge homeless. Because that is what happens to families when their father is a convicted sex offender. How can he find a job if his name is on a list. The list dosn't tell what he did. There is no explanation. So how can my children live. Where will we live if their father can't get a job and take care of them. Do they deserve that.

Posted by: Hexgirl on July 02, 2007 at 08:38 pm

First off, why is your husband taliking too someone else when he is married? And Why would he think of even going to meet this person? If it was a sting he would of had to know her age, and know that she is a minor that would worry me with your five children, esp... since it sounds as if your still with this man. I would not blame the State for making it hard on your family, or living a hard life, I would blame your husband, he was about too do something wrong, and even though he di not he still drove there, which in return he got caught. Now your children, and you hafe to suffer for what he was going to do, and have people talk if they know what happened. I am sorry that happened to you, and your children but too think of him being married, having children, and going too meet a minor, does not gross you out, or make you leave him, I am not sure anything, or someones comment would unless they are a preditor themselfs. Good Luck. Tammy (Hexgirl)

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 03, 2007 at 07:47 pm

I understand where everyone is coming from. There are some sex offenders that you need to worry about and some that you do not. I am married to a SO. We have been married for 9 wonderful years. My husband's crime was he was 17 and the girl was 14. They held him in jail till he turned 18 and then charged him with the sex offense. Is that fair? He was still a minor himself. He was not considered an adult, but they waited till he was an adult. When the new law came into effect (2,000) he did not register. To protect me and his children from having to move to where all the sex offenders are legal. He is paying for that now as he is serving time. I believe that the laws should be relooked at. This crime happened 13 years ago and he has not committed any other sexual crime. We have two daughter's and i trust them with him. He would give his life for these girls and for me. Why are some of you people so hateful? I understand some of your hate, especially for the younger children. That is wrong and the sex offenders that harm little children should be punished. But not every person should be put in that loop.

Posted by: boo10483 on July 04, 2007 at 08:09 am

first of all i am married to a sex offender the label'd him that ofter we had done been well in love for a very long time i was 15 years old and he was 25 years old but that shouldn't make no difference i was only a few months from 16 i was pregnant and very much in love no it'e hard for him to get a job it'd hard for us to rent a house let a lone buy one i seen where is said in a nother comm. that the will just label any one a sex offender but they don't have a lable for a murder why is that, not every one is a sex offender some men and or woman get those lables just buy doing something silly one persone said and they were so true this is very upsetting buy how they will let people that really hurt some one rome free with no title but people that haven't done things wronge honestly don't get that freedom. and this crap of haveing to register for the rest of you life in different states if not cool at all we loved texas but we were not staying some place that had a law like that . but how do you get over all the heart ack and pain they put on you when some one finds out that your married to a " sex offender" how really isn't one ?? does any one really know ??

Posted by: Oldtimer on July 04, 2007 at 08:43 am
	Write! It's people like you that we need to write their congressmen. They have these laws all messed up and they need to hear from "the people" being messed up by these laws. Write them.

Posted by: Hexgirl on July 04, 2007 at 06:26 pm

It's hard to hear as a parent that a 15 year old, and someone over 20ish, is dateing and not to minshone pregnant. But it happens all the time and I can understand for the parents to be upset, or feel like they want to contact the police, but if it is bith con... which 9 out of 10 times it is, it is wrong to have the boyfriend labled for life as a offender, due to the fact they both knew what they were doing sexually. There should be Laws for that type of situation that do not have to make this a type of offence, or even have to reg. even if she is a minor under 18 years old. They are trying to use the wrong type of offenders, as a example to the real preditors, because they are not offrenders. The State really needs to look at what is a true Offender, and Preditor, and stop lableing the ones who are both into having sex as one. Tammy (Hexgirl)

Posted by: boo10483 on July 04, 2007 at 06:57 pm

welp thank you for the comm. but as a mother now of 5 children buy the same man that i fell in love with 8 years ago and him being a reg. sex offender it's is ver hard to do things meaning getting houseing and jobs and what not. but my parents had nothing to do with him being out in jail or any thing it was his ex wife of 3 years so when she found out that he left her for a younger girl she got mad but that is under standable but still why should they or would they lable him for so long for falling in love it doesn't make sence and prolly never will but your right i should take it to a higher level and do something to help the men and woman that have to reg. cuz it's not fare to others if they are or were in the same place as i am with my husband. but where would i start to help my family and others i haven't a clue but if you could point me in the right direction that would be great then we could help others as well as our self's cuz it will go on and on and on from here and it wont ever change..

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on July 05, 2007 at 12:32 am

I think the saying of if you have never walked a mile in my shoe then dont judge me or condem me. So much hate, so much anger here. And so many uninformed people it is scary. Those of you who have nothing but hateful, unkind, and non compassion need a hard dose of what real life is about. Black and white judgements only serve to harm rather than offer support and help. I dont think anyone appointed you GOD that last time I checked. How can you possibly know or understand any of this unless you have been there or unless you have a degree in sexual psychology. And unless I am wrong most of you have neither. But what is the most alarming and saddening fact is that all families are being torn apart. Whether the offender or the victim. It is a truly sad state of affairs that there are those who can be so cruel and so rigid in there thinking. To the poster of this article that not all of us are idiots, not all of us are uneducated and blind and rigid unkind and uncaring of others who are in turmoil and pain. I wish I had a magic wand and could wave it to help you out, but I dont. All I can say is I wish you the best and I hope that you can find peace and ignore the hateful ,ignorant ones here.

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on July 10, 2007 at 10:20 am

I have a relationship with a man who "inappropriately touched a teenager" that was 12 years ago. During that time he has received intensive therapy, probation and a ton of extra punishment due to the onslaught of new laws each year. In the beginning there was no registration, then there was two catagories now just one, then the picture on line, then visits to home and work now email. Where is it all going to STOP!!! Therapist declared him not a predator the probation folks agreed. He has worked very hard to put his life on the right track. I have granddaughters now who has never been left alone with him, my family and neighbors knows his past. He is accepted for the most part. My fear is even though we practice common sense and appropriate behavior for his safety as well as the kids that next year a new law will come along and destroy us all. Secondly, the registration is becoming a joke. With all offenders lumped together the public can only assume that each one is extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. For the uninformed public a definition of offenses need to be taught. Surely, I should fear the offender who has tortured and raped more than one who was an adolescent and had sex with is younger girl friend. Without better definitions and forgiveness the registry becomes ineffective.

Posted by: Hexgirl on July 11, 2007 at 07:18 pm

In resp... to the 15 year old, now 8 years later, As a mother of having a son molested by his Uncle, now in Prision for 7 years, The State honestly did not help him, or our family out. We were promised alot, and left a year later with lies, and not the full amount of time promised, or given. I saw people like yourself in situations that the person they are calling the Offender (which was not) got more time then the True Ofenders would get, even people who wrote bad checks got more time. I think in all honesty the familys of falsely accused Offenders, and the Vic... familys need to some how get all together and make a stand in the ways the Laws are, and how they treat these type of situations. For example: Your husband now has to live a life, as well as yourself, and your 5 children hard, for something he should not even be called. or have to reg... I have a son who was molested, at 9, tried to kill himself at 10, which is the age he is now, the State never offered help, or therpy to my son, which I have went and made sure he got the help he needed, and was lyed too by the systems for a whole year, mean while the True Offenders, and the True Preditors are getting WHAT? and the ones like your husband as well as others get to pay the price for something that never happened, or was both willing, and the Danger ones are were? and keep doing what? But because we are not higher ups, no-one listens, children keep getting hurt, and abused, and people like yourselfs, have to pay as examples for not the right reasons, and the so's get nothing but back out to re-do it again. Always questions, but nothing changes, or no answers. Good Luck!!! Tammy (HexGirl)

Posted by: Lee (not registered) on July 19, 2007 at 01:50 pm

Registry's should not exist as if the offender is that dangerous then one should not be allowed in the public near our children. However, not all offenders are rapists or child molesters they are merely teens having consensual teen sex. Some like Josh Lunsford who was 18 when he fondled his 14 year old girlfriend gets a priviledged judicial system and walks from registration while others like Genarlo Wilson, Zach Campton and Ricky (see Ricky's story here: http://www.ethicaltreatment.org/mary.htm) are sitting in prison or jail and facing lifetime registration as juveniles for consenting sex between them and a minor girlfriend. All three of these boys charged as adults even tho legally and technically they are minors by law and all three facing a lifetime of uncertainty as more punitive laws are passed down as they have become the sacrificial lambs of our country and its ignorance concerning sex offender issues.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 19, 2007 at 06:09 pm

I know a sex offender, eight years ago while in college a teenage girl accused him of having sex with her. This young man babysitted me and my siblings while growing up in a small community. There was no evidence that they ever had sex. I did read the reports and the girl stated that she took her clothes off and climbed on top of him! I do believe that she was having sex with someone at that time but chose not to name the real person. Coming from a poor family he could not afford a long court battle and he wanted to get back to college, his lawyer suggested to just plea guilty and get this behind him! He did graduate with his bachalors degree in accounting. This young persons past caught up with you when the governer of the state in 2001 past a new law on sex offenders and back dated it now he has to register on line. He lost his job of 7 years and has been unemployed ever sense it is hard to live a normal life when you are in that catagory.

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on July 21, 2007 at 05:38 am

I will soon be married to a sex offender and its horrible how they are all grouped together. My fiance was charged due to the age difference even though it was stated by the girl in court that it was completely concentual. How many seniors date or have had sex with a freshman when they were in high school. His life is affected on a daily basis. Our kids will never have they're dad at any school event or have him as a coach because of the laws. He will never hold a good job because of his background. The rest of society is so uneducated on the different types of sex offenders. They are NOT all perverts or pedophiles. All of his privacy is gone. No one will ever fully understand what these people have to go through unless you live it everyday. Now all of these politicians are using sex offenders to get more votes and I think its ridiculus! I can understand if the person is a reoffending true sex offender or pedophile to want to keep a close eye on them but it has gotten out of hand. The part that sickens me the most is that it will more than likely get worse. In everyday decisions we have to look at what laws aganist sex offenders will interfere...where we buy our house because it has to be so far from a school or daycare, what kind of accounts he is allowed to have on the internet without getting in trouble or having to give out all of his information to the public. Its sick to me. We dont have any childrens yet but they will suffer the most. I pray that they are never made fun of by other children or emotionally scarred by what they're dad wont be able to do with them. I could go on and on venting about how horrible a lot of the sex offenders have it but I dont feel that it will ever truely be heard.

Posted by: justin (not registered) on July 22, 2007 at 01:30 am

Sex offender laws have established legal precedents in the country that are dangerous to the basic rights of all individuals’ not just those of sex offenders. The public wants to know where the dangerous and violent ex sex offender lives, but for the most part, the people in these registries are family members and low level offenders that will most likely never re-offend again. Applying retroactive laws to folks who are law abiding and who have reestablished their lives with their families should be unconstitutional. Once you’ve paid your debt to society you should be left alone by the government and IT should not intrude into your life and work and in anyway interfere with ones basic right to happiness, ownership of property, right to work, travel - and the right to prosper from conduct free enterprise. It should have NOT interfere in your personal and private communication and it should prove in a court of law any accusations or label of dangerousness that it wants to impose on you. Many sex offenders on these registries were sucked into them before the registration laws were enacted and never had a chance to decide if it was acceptable to give up their rights to go to trial before a legal plea agreement for the resolution of their case was accepted. The Rehnquist Court error in 2002 when in a ruling favored the enacted Megan Laws of the state of Alaska deciding 6-3 to maintain the law and allowing subsequent post sentence registrations rules that are harsh punitive sentences if not followed, saying they’re just simple civil procedures and not further punishment. When a criminal sentence is completed and closed, that same case should NOT be allowed to linger in the person’s life as though it’s still open and active. Once a person completes a sentence and complies with all sanctions imposed, he or she should not be worried about what the next enacted law is going to bring and how their renewed and re-established law abiding life is going to changed due to a new and upcoming law providing further lost of civil liberties by being a the registry. Once a citizen of this nation loses its civil rights protection under the watchful eye of the courts, then this nation becomes an oppressive state, no different then those it criticizes on the world’s stage for stumping on its citizens’ rights to freedom. Lets all protect our second chances and our rights to pursue happiness.

Posted by: Oldtimer on July 22, 2007 at 09:49 pm
	Well stated, justin. Can you imagine living in Maine where 25yrs after incarceration, you can be forced to register every three months? The statement used that this is not punishment is a folly. Note the courts are saying this, but you can't find legal defense because many attorneys are afraid to take the cases. Oh, and if your offense was 26 years ago, you can walk free with NO registration.

Posted by: Heather (not registered) on July 23, 2007 at 06:10 pm

Dear Jill, I understand what you are going through, I just recently found out that my husband of three years was a sex offender. This was something that happened when he was 19 (over 10 yrs ago), he was so ashamed of the label of sex offender that he kept leaving after he would lose a job because of his back round check coming back and wouldnt tell me why. Well this last time I found out the truth of what happened, and he is now in jail for it. It was considered a misdeamenor, and he has to register for the next 9 years. I'm scared to death, but I know my husband is not like that. we have lived in two differant states, and he has absolutely no enemies. He is wonderful with our son. And when he was here with me, the children in the complex loved him, I even had a 13 year old girl (whos mom I'm friends with) would be allowed to come over here in mini skirts, and tell me that she liked my husband in front of her friends and my husband. But her mother freaked out when a seven yr old boy threw her on the bed, and told her to sleep with her. She adored my husband also, but the minute his past came out, now shes got it set in her mind that hes this awlful person. This is the same friend of mine who is telling me that I'm pretty much a bad women, mother if I allow my husband to see our son. I think its ridiculous. I have been molested twice, once by a female and once by a male, and I know that if we educate our children about sex and sex offenders and the repercussions, then alot less will happen. I wish you well, and luck, I know its hard, but Jill if you truely believe in him, in your heart, you do whats best for you and your son. You cant make a clear decision if you have everyone yapping at you. Believe me I know, I have learned to not talk to anyone about my personal life. Take your time and make the decision thats best for your family. Good luck.

Posted by: Cherish (not registered) on July 23, 2007 at 08:37 pm

I do not agree, Sexual offenders get more time then do most murders or drug dealers, it is not fair they can't even get early time for good behavior, every situation is different, why is it that in our society a woman can scream rape, and without a doubt the offender is set to trial and then convicted? Especially those without enough money for a real attorney. I understand what it can do to someone's family and loved ones, and lets face it, some woman (most) are liars.....

Posted by: Oldtimer on July 24, 2007 at 08:11 am

Heather...interesting story. I guess you need to write your legislature and tell them why you feel parts of these laws disrupt families. They are under the impression that everyone just loves the offender laws. (Also, the feds are giving big bucks to the states to keep this going) I have encountered so many families messed up because someone made a mistake years ago and have not reoffended since. Good luck with it all.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 26, 2007 at 07:56 am

I love how people think that if they are a registered sex offender someone must have gotten hurt, that is so not the case, these are the ignorant people who need to read the laws before posting a comment here. You can be made to register as a sex offender just for peeing on the side of the road, no one got hurt there. There are also alot of other registerable offenses that aren't actual sex crimes. I am the wife of a registered sex offender and proud of it, he commited his crime back in 1993 and is still registering, and abiding by the law and even though he had a medium risk of reoffending, he never even has had a traffic ticket since then, he has 4 children and is a wonderful father and has resided in the same house with them since the day they all were born. And myself being a victim of a sex crime, I know the only thing that is going to keep your children safe, is you talking to them and making sure they know they can come to you and talk to you about anything, certainly not a list of names on a website or in a Sheriffs Department. And if you truly believe it does work, I feel sorry for you, if you honestly believe that the registery is keeping your children safe, then it is your children that are most at risk, take a look at your parenting skills.

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on July 28, 2007 at 03:37 pm

I am a registered sex offender. I had consensual sex with an underage girl 12 years ago. The girl and her mother testified it was consensual and because of that I got probation. I went through extensive counseling during probation. Life seemed better then. It was a positive atmosphere, not a condemning one which was helpful in accepting my situation. Before my probation was over this registry law got passed. I was to register for 5 years. Before that 5 years was up it got changed to 10 years, and now life. It did ruin my life. I lost my wife and family and most everything else important to me. I suffer from major depression. I am a recluse choosing to not have social a life. My only contact with people is via the internet, and no not as predator. I feel it would be unfair to try to have a relationship and subject another person to my life as a sex offender. Will I reoffend? No. I actually do my best in the fight to protect children. I created an internet amber alert system that is used by 1000s of websites and radio stations nationwide, my way of trying to repay society and make it safer for kids. It has lead to many abducted children being returned home safely. Every time I get that registration letter it stirs up my depression. It makes me realize that I will now never have a real life now and this will never be over until I die. The law is unfair.

Posted by: Oldtimer on July 28, 2007 at 08:13 pm
	when you can, attend the legislative meetings of your state that make these laws for your state. Write your legislators on state and federal level. I believe you can find someone supportive of your situation to live with. All humans screw up. Those that throw stones are in denial, in my opinion. They too have ghosts in their closets.

Posted by: anonymous (not registered) on July 29, 2007 at 04:40 pm

I am labeled a sex offender & a sexual offender. My story is all together not these. I had a job, marriage, my family, my daughter. I went to work in the Public Health Dept. This guy found out about something that happened when I was 16. He put illegal bugs in my house, found about my sexual past (the men I slept with) I was 15 & this guy 20's something happened with us. I never told anyone, he never got in any trouble. But because of what he says about me, the thing when i was 16 that says i was raped. & there is another guy saying things about me. Then my husband & i did something when I was 25. I guess you could say I'm a sex offender, not a rapist or pedophil, or child molester. But they bugged my mom's house, & everywhere I go they tell everyone what a terrible human being I am. I get phone calls, etc. & they told my daughter about things & now she believes them. ( she won't have anything to do with me) they wiped all my references, I lost my husband, my friends, i can't get a job, I'm shunned wherever I go. People call me a rat because it's from where I worked for 6 years. My daughter is now gone from my life, & they want to somehow tell my mom & get me to have nothing. It's all over the news, & internet. I am remorseful for what I have done, but I don't even get a day in court. I let the FBI & the ACLU know what was happening & they won't help me. I suffer from depression & i'm bypolar. My life & my future, I am scared to death for my future.

Posted by: Hexgirl on July 30, 2007 at 10:27 pm

By reading your story there seems to be things left out from your past. if I am reading right you were the minor, and the persons were older, which I am not saying it was their fault or anything, but It is a bit strange. Why would someone bug your home, and people get your daughter emotionally un-attached from you, and the Local News, and Internet be so involved not to minshone the F.B.I. if this was something that happened a long time ago, in your past? I know that there is only a certain amount of time someone can have to come out, before there is nothing more the Laws can do. And if they do try to to something in reguards to your situation there has to be alot of things for them to be able to use in the court systems to show your a Offender, Preditor, etc.... I know the brain is a powerfull thing, but for your sake, I would try to have the Ability to remember the truth, since you have Bio-Polar Disorder, seek some Therpy, mabe even some medicine for your saddness, and dep.... because your story does'nt make alot of since except that there seems to be more to the situation then is being typed. I hope you find your path in life, and get your daughters trust in your realationship back, but in order to do all that you have to take care of number one which is you, then the rest will come along. Good Luck!!! Tammy (HexGirl)

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 03, 2007 at 04:45 pm

I read some of the comments on here.... First of all, not every Sex Offender is acutally guilty. I'm going through that right now. My husband has been wrongfully convicted of a crime we have all these evidence to prove his innocence. I am trying to find someone that will take the time to sit down and look at the transcripts. I feel bad for families of sex offenders if in deed they are actually innocent like myself. No One has the right to judge anybody. My husband is now being incarcerated for 28-56 months for something he did not do. If anyone has any idea as to where I can go to find justice.. please email me buffie@pennswoods.net

Posted by: Hexgirl on August 04, 2007 at 11:43 am

Buffey, Your right not everyone is a Sex Offender, and since you feel your other hafe is not guilty, and therefore so does the State if he is being incarcerated for that, something is not right. He should be gave a (FREE) lawyer through the State that works for his def... and the evidence you have, and the transcripts should be handed to his State Appointed Attorney, and he is suppoed to prove his innocence so he does not have to be in Prision. If the Lawyer is not doing that, the only other option you will have is too get a Private Attorney, and Pay him with your own money to prove your other hafe is not guilty of the charges he was charged with. There may also be Legal Aids that may take your case for free, in your State, but it may take awhile if you do have that type of service in your State, I am almost positive there will be a waiting list. The other option is to call every single Attorney who does cases as this and see if they do any Pro-Bono work, Which sometimes they do, to keep up a certain outlook on theirselves, and their Law Firm. I have also learned that through experinces. If all else fails, and you've tried everything and nothing works in your best intrest, or your other hafes, either keep trying and see who can help, ask Family Members to help out, which if he is not guilty maybe they would, (If they have the money) or get alot of paper, and pens so you can write to each other (Alot ) to buy pass the time he is in there. I am not a fan of any Sex Offender, or Preditor because my son was molested, but I do feel alot of these Sex Offenders are being wrongly Accused, and the real Ones are being let go, and I guess it's not just in my State I have seen and read others somments on as well. Good Luck, and may the Choices I have tried to give you help. Tammy (HexGirl)

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 08, 2007 at 10:00 pm
	Okay "victim" you were 15 he was 21. I have never met a 21 year old who would date a 15 year old?? He took advantage of you and you don't realize it. I feel bad for you.

Posted by: Melissa (not registered) on August 10, 2007 at 02:47 pm

That isn't always the case, He violated his family, my husband didn't violate us, his crim was commited long before the law was ever passed, due to him still being on probation at the time of the law being passed, he still has to register, his children were born long before the law ever passed, the problem is CHILDREN weren't ever really thought of, this registry doesn't keep your children safe and if you think it does, then you are just ignorant. It violates constitutional rights and violates all kinds of privacy. CHILDREN of registered sex offender then become victims of violence, teasing, and bullying. So you tell me whose children are really being protected by this, not yours certainly not mine. My son has his fathers name, so there is no mistaking he is his son, they have the same address, so people will assume he is the offender sooner or later, just out of ignorance. IT doesn't keep children safe, mind you this is coming from a victim of sexual abuse, only you and you alone are going to keep your children safe! Talking to them, letting them know they can talk to you. And people who comment and are just ignorant to the laws and the registerable offenses, need to read those, for every state, cause they are different in every state. Because a very high percentage of these registered offenders are registering for non violent crimes, some of them didn't even have to do with sex. You have to register if you get caught peeing on the side of the road in some states, or in others if you assault a minor, you have to register, not sexually assault, but just assault. Please don't just run off with the mouth about things you have no idea about, that aggravates me. Oviously people like you think poor is dumb and sex offender automatically means child raping baby killer, how ignorant is that?

Posted by: jenny j (not registered) on August 15, 2007 at 03:18 am

Did you know that your son or brother can be accused and charged by his wife of sexual assault, without the couple being legally separated, without the wife claiming that her husband battered her in any way, police will arrest the husband just based on the wife's claim per 5 police departments I interviewed---attorneys have very very often in the past advised the husband to take a plea---but even misdomeanor charges can carry sex offender registration requirement-your son or brother is now on the same list with the pedophiles and mad rapists for your neighbor and employers to see. Would you want your son or brother when accused by his retaliative angry wife placed on these websites with the pedophiles and crazy violent rapists. Well welcome to California---California and our elected officials allow this placement. Is that equitable, fair treatment? When it happens to your son or brother, and you have to support him and his children because he can't get a job---then you will understand the gravity of what is happening in America today.

Posted by: zipper (not registered) on August 15, 2007 at 11:47 am

most people who harass sex offenders are themselves sex offenders just like the guy in FL passing the toughest sex offender legislation then he was caught soliciting a young boy!! it is all a smoke screen to divert attention off of them! Psych 101 The people who act in an uncivilised manner toward these people dito!! NORMAL PEOPLE arent up in everyones business like that now do they want limbs removed and death for anyone!! They seek peace and love and harmony Justice is eye for an eye at its harshest not one of your eyes for 10,0000 others these people are sick and are calling the kettle black so to speak! To live in fear of pople they dont have any contact with and never will is humorous at best because thier squalid offspring is more important than the rest of the pople on the planet stoop a little lower and you will see the ciminality of these individuals surfacing Maybe we should make them all Dictator of Iraq then finish the job over ther once and for all lol

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 19, 2007 at 11:43 pm

You are all right. Everywhere you turn today there is always something about sex offenders. My husband is a registered sex offender. He was old then his previous girl friend and they had sex. parents found out and you go from there. Yes it is hard living as being marked a sex offenders with and your kids do get looked at to. However, These laws have to change.. They should not post address' on the internet. Here is what happened to my family. After 8yrs of marriage and no problems it happened. I used to work at a small resturant with about 14 employees. The youngest was 15yrs old. she was trying to earn money for summer since schoolwas out. About 3 weeks after she started she was messing up quite a bit. They appointed me to watch her and help her along. I did that and things started changeing for her. She was getting into the grove of things. I reported back to mamagement that she was starting to do very well. A week later we had something go wrong and had to close. The next day we had to clean up and management forgot to call and say she didn't need to come in. She showed up and decided to help clean. after we were done she couldn't get ahold of her parents and my husband and I drove her home an the way to get our daughters. Later that night her parents showed up at our front down and attacked my husband infront of my daughters. I called the police and when they arrived and things calmed down we leard that this girl told her parents that she was sexually assaulted by my husband while taking her home. We were stundded..My husband was arrested right then and there even tho I was the other in the car she said I wasn't in there. The cops said I could not be a witness because I was married to him. So first my husband went to the hospital and ended up having 3 broken ribs, a broken nose , 2 back eyes and a fat lip. After acouple weeks in jail he was released out of the blue. Come to find out the girl came out with the truth that she lied. She said she was mad at me for getting her fired and wanted to get back at me for that so she did some digging around and found out he was on the list and came up with the story. All charges were dropped. Having address isn't right my husband got beat up for a lie by someone. now we are trong to get our livesonce again back in order and it isn't easy. All we got from the cops, detectives and Judge was an apolige. Gee Thanks can you fix the damage done. NO

Posted by: Oldtimer on August 20, 2007 at 10:17 am
	And did you get a lawyer? How about a suit against those that beat him up?

Posted by: Anonymous (not registered) on August 20, 2007 at 12:47 pm
	The life of a victim/survivor of a rape, molestation, etc. is totally disturbed and turned around. I am a victim/survivor of both. Rape and moles